Morbid Curiosity (morbid_curious) wrote,
Morbid Curiosity
morbid_curious

Piled higher and deeper.

[mental health update; feel free to skip if it's not your thing]

Spent the entire day at Campus Health today, over three appointments. I now have a diagnosis of clinical depression and anxiety, a prescription for sertraline (aka Zoloft), blood work done to make sure I haven't completely stuffed my body with stress. The psychotherapist recommends I stop thesis work immediately and give my mind and body a chance to heal, much as if it were a physical injury of similar calibre.

This is going to suck. But if I'm honest with myself, it's been sucking for some time already and has been getting worse. With my experiences presented to me from the outside, it was quite obvious I've been unconsciously trying to mask my stress injuries and soldier on when I should have been working to limit the damage I was doing to myself. (Of course, having my healthcare provider unavailable for a month and a half over Christmas/New Years really didn't help matters there, either.)

Current plan: immediately cease thesis. Talk to supervisor, then to Registry, and see if I can get a suspension (preferably retroactive for the last couple of months that I've been trying to work and failing). Don't work on it for a couple of months, and reassess where I am after that. Keep my day job workload at part time.

This way, my thesis re-submission may be later than I like, and risk being a bit less relevant and timely than it could have been, but I won't completely shatter myself in the process.
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