Emohtep: god of morose status updates and posting youtube clips of indie bands
Lagzarus: god of slow internet connections and frozen browsers
CtHulu: god of video clips that aren't available in your region
LOdin: god of "Your page will load in 5...4...3...2...1..."
Anoobis: patron saint of first timers in video games
Hefightsus: master of the flamewar and forging sockpuppets (but still lame)
H4xi|op0ch+li: god of zero-day warez
CodeNaN: barbarian demigod of confusing error messages (he likes to crush programs, see them test-driven before him, and listen to the lamentations of their users)
Quetzalcoaxial: god of tangled cables and upsidedown USB ports
C:RunOS: guardian of the ancient ways, and leader of the Wildcard Hunt
Memeir: God of overused internet memes
The Well of Memeir remembers, long after the internet has passed them by. For there is a place where hamsters and babies always dance, where we always get signal, where it is always peanut butter jelly time...